We usually spend more waking hours at work with fellow employees than with our own families. When the death of a work colleague occurs the grief may be pronounced. Grief at work impacts productivity and morale. The  difficulty grieving at work is that one is expected to be productive rather than spending time grieving or demonstrating emotion. Balancing work and feelings may be a strain.

The death of a colleague, whether sudden or not, it is common for employees to experience all the emotions and states of grief. Following are common emotional reactions of grief in the workplace.

• SHOCK: The inability to fully comprehend the loss or accept the loss when first told the news. The sensations of numbness, inability to concentrate, “spacey.” There is a need for some people to talk and connect with other employees in an attempt to make sense of the event. Others may need to retreat or concentrate on work to manage the shock. In other words, some employees are too distracted to work and others will become “super” employees working intensely to avoid any feelings.
• SADNESS: The pain of loss will frequently puncture through the numbness of shock and one will feel intense sorrow. The sight of the departed’s office, typical lunch area may bring up feelings. Emails, memos, employee directories will likely be poignant reminders of the loss. Crying is a normal reaction to sadness and may be difficult to contain at work. While dealing with customers or vendors professionalism needs to be maintained, use a team approach to cover for each other while a colleague is overwhelmed with grief.
• ANGER: This is a protective emotion that energizes and motivates. Anger is commonly experienced while grieving. It is less painful to feel one’s anger than to feel one’s sorrow at the loss. Contrary to popular belief anger is a healthy emotion. The difficulty with anger is how it is expressed. Punching holes in walls, blaming colleagues, yelling at co-workers carry consequences at work even if grieving. Talk out anger with a trusted friend outside of work or find a physical release such as exercise, yard work to expend some of the energy of anger. If there is anger at management for perceived lack of support be judicious voicing your complaints. Often we are angry at something other than our perceived target. Before addressing the perceived wrong with management, check your ideas with trusted colleagues.
• FEAR: If the death occurred at work there may be fear to enter the building again. If the death was caused by an illness similar to other employees’ illnesses or loved ones (heart disease, cancer, diabetes…) a surviving employee may feel fear for one’s mortality. If the death was violent the circumstances may produce fear for what the deceased experienced. The antidote to fear is action. Discuss fears, determine the likelihood that one may experience a similar fate, and take actions to decrease those chances.
• GUILT/REGRET: Worries one was not supportive enough, kind or generous enough are common when a fellow employee dies. In our day-to-day work life the focus is more on work than relationship. Little human moments of connection may be missed in the need to complete work tasks. The death of another suddenly broadens our perspective and changes our priorities. We review the moments we let slip by without speaking the compliment, thanking the other, spending a few extra minutes talking at lunch, or accepting the invitation and then feel guilt for those lost moments. The purpose of guilt is to learn a lesson from one’s own behavior. Resolve to make changes with others going forward. But remember to forgive yourself. Work relationships are difficult because of the delicate balance between professional behavior and friendship. Work must be completed to earn a paycheck, human contact often takes a distant second to complete the tasks. Be realistic about the differences between work and personal relationships.
• INDIFFERENCE: Not all employees will be upset at the loss of a colleague. Depending on the relationship with the departed the news may be nothing more than an interesting piece of news that day. There may be more feeling of annoyance at added job responsibility to pick up the slack while others are grieving. Others will be happy to contribute and assist during this time of adjustment.